Dismantling the purist – Beorn

Source: http://monkeyelbow.tumblr.com/post/71432101642/really-i-hate-peter-jackson-for-destroy-a-great

This cute little love letter above was posted by a tumblr user, who clearly favors the book. So let’s get down to business, shall we?

Well, the first noticeable thing are the insults. I’m sorry, but if you have a problem with how Beorn was portrayed in the films, I’m sure there’s a more civil way to say that without being so darn harsh and insulting about it. I mean, what does that say about someone, if they post something like this? There’s no reasoning, no explanation, just anger, rage and insults. It’s like they didn’t even think before – or while – writing this. I mean it’s bad enough, if someone says this. Yet they wrote it. Meaning, it wasn’t just something that slipped from their mouth in a fit of rage, they had to think about this, sit down, take a minute, actually take the time to type it all in, look at it again, and then hit the post button. That’s the culminated sum of their abilities to express their opinion.

Not to mention, if you’re such a big admirer of the late Prof. Tolkien, dear poster, maybe you should honor him by not butchering his native tongue completely, just because you’re so blind with rage that you can’t even write properly. I don’t mean to nitpick that much, and I’m sure I’m guilty of the occasional grammar mistake here and there as well (it’s not my native language, after all), but doesn’t the above comment strike you like it’s messed up because of anger and not because it’s not the poster’s native language?

Also worth noting, that our purist friend does what I mentioned in my previous post. They declare things. That’s it. Again. They declare, that Beorn is a great character. No reasons or insight whatsoever as to why they think that, no attempt to explain it to us why this supposedly great character deserved better. They declare, that PJ’s version is “shitty”. Again, they do not even try to expand on the matter, nor do they go into any detail as to what the nature of their problems with PJ’s interpretation were. Then the post moves away from Beorn himself, and – surprise – declares, that the ‘Beorning’ subplot of the movie was also terrible. Reason for that being, well, nothing in particular, just “WTF?! Go to fuck yourself“.

And then comes the line “The Beorn from the books is, by far, more amazing and imposing than the movie version“. Again, it’s just… declared. No valid examples are given as to where the gaping difference between the movie and book version lies.

Matter of fact, only a single complaint is addressed: “The Orcs fear him, they don’t want to make him angry.” Yeah… That’s literally the only time anything specific is said. So let’s see if this single complaint holds any water.

So, according to the post, the movie version of Beorn is terrible, because the Orcs do not fear him. Meaning, he lacks the integrity of the book version. Is this true?

Well, no. Let’s just examine the movie for a bit. The night after the company finds shelter in Beorn’s house, we see Azog and his Orc pack, watching Beorn and his house from afar. One of the Orcs suggest to go and kill the Dwarves in their sleep, to which Azog replies “No! The beast stands guard. We will kill them on the road.” So there you have it. Azog, the one Orc who has the balls to make demands of Sauron himself, an Orc, who is considered an absolute beast in his own right, with about a dozen Orcs and as many Wargs at his disposal, is too afraid to go anywhere near the dwarves because Beorn stands guard. To the point where he does not even consider the idea. That’s how much movie Beorn is feared. Even Azog’s blinding hatred of Thorin is not enough motivation for him to mess with our skin-changing friend.

It’s not just Azog either. Beorn’s gravitas can be felt by the way the Dwarves behave around him as well. The same Dwarves, who were brave enough to face three giant trolls, hundreds of Goblins, a pack of Orcs and Wargs, clearly fear Beorn more than any of the previously mentioned beings. As Graham McTavish put it, ‘the Dwarves went to Bilbo’s, they trashed the place, they went to Rivendell, they trashed the place, but in Beorn’s house, everyone behaved extremely well‘. Even Gandalf himself, who is truly a force to be reckoned with, acted rather nervous about the mere possibility of awakening Beorn’s wrath.

Factor in the unsaid truth of movie-Beorn’s past and the chain on his hand. Yes, he was captive at one time, but even someone as strong as him is only one individual in the end, so a whole legion of Orcs – in league with Sauron none the less – could still take him captive. What’s of interest here, is the fact, that he escaped. He was held captive at one point, and yet he still escaped. Considering how Azog acts towards him now, I’m sure that escape cost his captors many lives. Even for a wizard, that would be most impressive.

So all things considered, how exactly is movie Beorn not feared, especially by the Orcs? Did Azog look like he wanted to make him angry? And was I really the only one to notice that Bolg’s face looks like it was torn up by a giant bear?

To sum it up, the poster only dished out insults and bad grammar, but completely and utterly failed to bring anything worth thinking about to the table. They only mentioned a single complaint in particular, and that was disproven rather easily. Thankfully, they added a picture to give us more insight to their thoughts:

Really, I hate Peter Jackson for destroy a great character as Beorn was, his shitty versión makes me cry, Oooh, poor Beornning tortured by the Orcs. WTF!? Go to fuck yourselves. The beorn from the books is, by far, more amazing and imposing than the...

Yeah. Nothing like physical violence to prove why your preferred version of a character is better. I guess insults and violence are also by far “more amazing and imposing” than logical arguments and explanations. Truly we are dealing with a ‘silver-tongued Devil’ here. Well, at least it goes well with the rest of the post.

I’m sure there are aspects of movie Beorn, that some people actually did not like. I’m sure there’s an argument to be had about it. If you had a problem with how he was portrayed, at least explain what it was and why you felt so. Preferably do so in a civil and respectful manner, after all, there’s no need to behave like an Orc on steroids…

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